by Dahni
© Copyright 2009-05-20
all rights served
The Missing Link
Please Note: Similar to the credo of The Glenn Beck Radio Program, this post is, “A fusion of Entertainment and Enlightenment.” Take what you can and toss the rest.
The De-evolving Missing Link scrapped for a more logical man-made digital/software/mechanical species
On the heels of the recent discovery of a 47 million year old fossil of a lemur monkey, hailed as ‘The Missing Link’ and 8th Wonder of the World and proof of this transitional species, thought to finally confirm Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution, ‘The Origin of Species,’ published in 1859, another, even more recent discovery disputes these findings.
The aforementioned discovery of a 95%-complete ‘lemur monkey’ - dubbed Ida, is the result of the 200 year old search for a direct connection between humans and the rest of the animal kingdom, was presented to the world in a special news conference in New York City, NY U.S.A.
This 95%-complete ‘lemur monkey’ is described as the “eighth wonder of the world”
Just today, May 20th, 2009, another discovery has shaken the entire world. Two wholly fossilized and skeletal remains were unearthed and found to have died together. The pair has been named, ‘Mis’ and ‘Matched’ or just simply, ‘Mis-Matched.’
The Missing Link
Even more dramatic is the consensus of expert scientists world-wide that have estimated the age to be over 47 billion years old. Professor I.B.A. Knucklehead of Waz A Matter U. (university), speaking on behalf of the group stated,
“We know we are not able to know how old these remains truly are, but we are confident of our dating methods and have confirmed their age.”
Professor I.B.A. Knucklehead
The discovery becomes even more incredible when a consensus of expert geneticists world wide, examined the remains.
“We have established that one of the persons (‘Mis’), is directly related to Madalyn Murray O’Hair[i], the famous atheist of the 20th century and the other (‘Matched’), is the ancient ancestor of Colonel Robert Green Ingersoll[ii], the great defender of agnosticism in the late 1800’s”
Dr. Clueless in Seattle
A Consensus of expert forensic scientists has determined that both of the persons died without any of the five senses. Neither could see, hear, smell, taste nor feel.
“We have no viable tissue samples, but we know, they must have been without any sensual perception.”
Dr. U. Betcha
These findings must astound Dr. Richard Dawkins[iii] who professes to be an atheist in theory, but an agnostic in practice. We are still waiting his reaction.
“The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.”
Richard Dawkins
Jane Doe, wholly unknown and yet totally logical, was deeply troubled by the news. So she looked up the word atheism in the dictionary and found that in order for atheism as a belief to exist, there must logically be a God for them not to believe in. Jane also was quoted,
“In order for atheism to be proven, one would need to span all space, time and dimensions and be greater in scope and activity than what they seek to dispute, in order to prove what they purport does not exist.”
Jane Doe
Taking Jane Doe’s lead, John Doe, wholly unknown and yet totally logical, was also deeply troubled by the news. So he looked up the word agnostic in the dictionary. There he found that this word has come down to us from an ancient Greek compound word that was defined as ‘without mind’ or ‘without judgment.’ An agnostic does not want to say that God exists nor that God does not exist. No matter how logical the premise is, if the premise is wrong, so too is the conclusion. John Doe summed up this errant belief of an agnostic as follows,
“In the vernacular or our modern day language, an agnostic is simply, out of their mind.”
John Doe
Returning to the cause of death of the recent discovery, world famous talking flea Dichard Rawkins[iv], who channels for the ancient mystic flea, Wee Oncesuckedbrains and the ancient cockroach W.B. Neverextint, affirmed,
“They died clueless or without a clue!”
Dichard Rawkins
Simple Simon met a pie man and reached the simple and logical conclusion that the true Missing Link is the word ‘believe.’ Believe is a verb and connotes action. In language, unless you understand what you are talking about, it is impossible to articulate. Unless there is some form of action, there can be no understanding. One cannot know unless they are taught or they learn. Knowledge comes from outside of, the individual seeking. They cannot gain wisdom unless there is some form of action on the knowledge. Without wisdom, there can be no understanding. Therefore, according to Simple Simon,
“One either believes in God or one does not, but ‘believe’ is the missing link. Anything else is void of authority or purpose.”
Simple Simon
Jeanetically Yours,
Dahni
[i]
Madalyn Murray O’Hair (April 13, 1919 – September 29, 1995) was an American atheist. She was the founder of American Atheists and, either openly or behind the scenes, was its President for 32 years from 1963 to 1995.
[ii]
Colonel Robert Green Ingersoll (August 11, 1833 – July 21, 1899) was a Civil War veteran, American political leader, and orator during the Golden Age of Free thought, noted for his broad range of culture and his defense of agnosticism.
[iii]
Richard Dawkins is an atheist, secular humanist, skeptic, scientific rationalist, and supporter of the Brights movement. He has widely been referred to in the media as “Darwin’s Rottweiler”, by analogy with English biologist T. H. Huxley, who was known as “Darwin’s Bulldog” for his advocacy of natural selection. In his 2006 book The God Delusion, Dawkins contends that a supernatural creator almost certainly does not exist and that faith qualifies as a delusion − as a fixed false belief.
[iv]
Dichard Rawkins is a highly evolved and talking flea, and has been genetically related to Richard Dawkins. Dichard Rawkins channels for the ancient mystic flea, Wee Oncesuckedbrains and the ancient cockroach, W.B. Neverextint. Wee Oncesuckedbrains and kin, evolved to become modern day blood or life suckers as sucking just the brains killed the host and the ancient fleas were forced to make other living and feeding arrangements. Blood sucking enables them to maintain their living quarters while preserving their food source. Dichard once remarked, “I l ove Richard Dawkins, but I concede that too much blood sucking and the ocassional brain sucking has really messed up his mind, my home, and the quality of my food source.” The ancient cockroach W.B. Neverextint is believed to be, if not the oldest living life form on the planet, at least one that can never become extinct and has never evolved. Dichard Rawkins is widely referred to in the media as the “Flea on the Butt of Darwin’s Rottweiler.”
dahni
